Signing Up
by Llama Lady Lily
Summary: Why on earth would Mike and Matt sign up to glee? Other than love of being accused of being homosexual and dripping in cherry slushie, of course.  Enter: Puck. Slight Quick, Britanna, Puckerbritanna and Rutherbritanna.


"Chang."

The locker Mike was standing at closed, and Puck was leaning nonchalantly beside it.

"Hey, Puck," Mike said, going to open his locker again.

"You dance," Puck said. It wasn't an accusation, just a statement.

"What? No! That's... lame."

Mike pulled his gym gear out of his locker. They were already late for class, and if they didn't hurry up, Coach Sylvester would be all over them like white on rice.

"I'm not blind. I saw you," Puck said, still not accusingly or with very much intonation in his voice at all. "You should join glee club."

"What?" Mike asked.

"Glee club. We sing, we dance. It's sort of gay, but sort of not. Hot chicks."

"I like hot chicks," Mike mused.

"You like hot chicks. You like to dance," Puck said. "Glee club has all that. You see my point."

"I'm glad to see that my class isn't interfering with your extensive and eloquent grasp of monosyllabic sentence structure gentlemen! Maybe you can test out your articulation while you're running laps!"

**...**

"Matt," Puck said, with their signature grasp-hands-and-pat-one-another's-backs greeting. "I need you to do me a solid." Sometimes Puck likes to pretend he's a black man in the Bronx, despite being a white Jew from Texas living in Ohio.

"Whatcha need, man?" Matt asked.

"Back-up," Puck said. "Glee club back-up."

"What? No!" Matt said, intending on going right back to the locker rooms.

"Wait up, wait up – there's more to the offer..." Puck said. "It's about a girl."

"Mmm, I guessed," Matt said, pursing his lips. "I'm gunna go with: Quinn."

"There's something in it for you..." Puck enticed.

"Like what?" Matt asked, intrigued.

"Okay... Here's my thing. I... promised Finn I'd get to know Quinn better," and Matt felt like maybe there was more to the story there, but he let it slide. "And I'm _not_ signing up to be a cheerio, or for any of those AP classes she does. All I have left is electives, so I'm sort of stuck with Glee since she shut down that façade of a celibacy club." Matt didn't know Puck even _knew_ words like 'façade'. "But for you... You know I've been working on San and Britt to go about sharing some of that love around..."

Matt most certainly did know that Puck had been trying to entice his sometimes girlfriend and her best friend to his bed.

"They're sort of thinking about it..." Puck said. "Britt... well she's Britt, right? She said she'd try anything once. Once she's in, Santana will be in."

"I'm not doing that with you, Puck," Matt said, point blank. "I knew there was a problem when you started talking about glee club-" and he made to walk away, but Puck grabbed his arm.

"No! Not that. I've already convinced Mike to come in on this – sort of held something over his head. He said this was the only way to get you in." He took a deep breath and sighed. "I will sacrifice my threesome with Santana and Brittany to you if you join glee."

"You're serious? You'll just march up to Santana and say 'hey, you know how I've been on at you for months about threesomes? I decided to swap my place in the one you haven't even agreed to yet for membership in glee club.'?"

"Nah," Puck said. "I have a rather cunning plan to get her to put a three month sex embargo on me, involving Rachel Berry and a Neil Diamond record. But seriously, I can plan it, get it so Brittany's totally up for it, and... well you'd know, I guess... when Britt wants something... or someone..."

"Britt gets it," Matt said. He knew _all_ about Brittany. He sighed. "Seriously? You're prepared to sacrifice that?"

"I reckon with another twelve solid months of careful planning there'll be room for another one, but yes. You can have this one."

"Geez, man," Matt said, and whistled. "Count me in."

**And so we have Matt and Mike joining for a reason **_**other**_** than love of being accused of being homosexual and dripping in cherry slushie.**

**It all started with the Puck/Rachel (**_**wtf-is-going-on-here-I-thought-he-loved-Quinn-oh-maybe-it-was-a-plan-for-something-else**_**) brainwave I had a little while ago.**


End file.
